THE MONSTER IN THE BACKYARD

Actually, it's a trumpet vine which thrives in the backyard. It doesn't hurt that the septic is right next to it. DogMan hates the vine and occasionally whacks away at it as though he's a Samurai warrior.
Don't do it, I warn him. It will only grow back with a vengeance. But, of course, DogMan didn't listen, so behold the monster.